It’s very cloudy and it’s raining too. Up until Palm Sunday the weather was nice and warm, it hadn’t even been this warm last summer. But since Holy Monday, it’s been drizzling. I’m feeling better now, that angst I was plagued with until yesterday has now subsided. The news from my wife that they are all well, the news that I’ve awaited for 18 months arrived and was the best medicine for my heart which is tormented by such a cruel separation from my loved ones. But deep down, my heart is still sad, still anxious and it will be until I have the great joy of embracing my dear wife and children.

Today around noon, while we were working in the usual factory, the siren went off. It ended in an hour, without any damage. We hadn’t heard any pre-raid sirens or sirens in a few weeks, we thought perhaps there had been a summit to end this damn war but sadly that isn’t the case, it’s still going on!

This is the second Easter I’ve spent on German soil, the second Easter my dear wife and kids are forced to celebrate without me! These holidays are nothing but a blow to my heart, I’d rather they never come. I wonder what sort of bleak Easter my poor wife had without me. She’s been living without me for 18 months, without me for 2 Christmases and 2 Easters, unable to celebrate these days as we once did together, instead she probably cried and cursed those cowards who tore me from my home. Will this war ever end? Do they really want to destroy everything and kill us all? Do they not want to grant me the great joy of embracing my dear wife and children?!

Today we worked like we do every day, and like every other day we ate potatoes with no seasoning, hardly even any salt. Even on Easter we ate potatoes at noon and at night, without any seasoning. Food has become a serious issue: there’s no bread at the black market, and if you manage to find a kilo, it costs 40 Marks which is more than a week’s pay. A cigarette costs 5 Marks and some even demand 6 Marks. Our cigarette ration card allows for 2 cigarettes a day, smokers who want to more than that have to sell their shoes because with a week’s pay they can only buy enough cigarette for half a day (8 cigarettes). 100 grams of meat costs 20 Marks and it’s not easy to find. Agostino and Ciccillo are tightening their belts more than ever. Where I live, the food isn’t bad but it’s getting progressively worse. I also discovered what nuns are like in Germany: they dress in black and white but are nothing but whited sepulchers. These nuns who run the place where we live (about 40 foreigners and some Germans too), take our monthly food ration cards which aren’t good for much but at least they’re good for butter, lard, eggs, white bread, etc. They eat all of this and feed us nothing but carrots and potatoes all the time. Not to mention the way they behave, these nuns. I can no longer stand eating this garbage, I can’t take it, I can’t bear to swallow another disgusting potato. It’s been 550 days since they brought me to Germany and made me eat potatoes thousands of times. It takes a strong stomach to live in Germany! If I ever have the joy of going home, I will never forget this!

I’m tired of working, I don’t feel well. This morning I asked my boss if I could have a permit to go see a doctor, he wouldn’t give it to me, he said I have to work. I asked him again later, so he sent his sidekick, a man worthy of him who we nicknamed “scarecrow”, to the nuns where I live and asked them if I drank my coffee this morning. The nuns replied yes, so he came to the machine I was working at and said: “You drank your coffee this morning, you’re not sick, so work.” I worked until night and went to the doctor without a permit. For now I was able to get 8 days of sick leave, then I’ll see what else can be done. Yesterday the siren went off once, every day the pre-raid siren goes off 4 or 5 times, I believe the beginning of the end is near!

Tonight Paolo Schumann came to visit me. He now lives in a small city called Landshut, 70 kilometers outside of Munich. We had a beer together. He practically assured me that the war should be over this month, but I doubt it. I said to him: “It should be over but your fellow Germans are too thickheaded!”

Today we had to run to the bomb shelter twice and had to stay inside for 3 hours straight.

The siren went off twice. I worry that sooner or later, these surprise attacks will kill us. If it doesn’t end this month, I’ve decided to cut and run.
Before, the siren used to go off and then the aircrafts would come. We had time to run somewhere, we had time to go to a shelter, be it good or bad. But now, while we’re sleeping, eating, or working, we hear bombs being dropped and woe is the place where they land. The siren, or rather the “pre-raid siren”, goes off after. This is much more dangerous than the big attacks. These single aircrafts, called bombers, are very dangerous because their presence doesn’t set off the siren. Now that they’ve gotten closer with the military bases, they keep us company almost every day.

Last night at exactly midnight the “pre-raid siren” went off, then 2-3 minutes of regular siren, but while the siren was wailing, the bombers dropped their loads. We barely had time to jump out of bed when an explosion shook us. We got dressed and ran to the shelter, but it was pointless. Once we reached the shelter, the bombers had already terminated their mission and had left. Today at 4:00, the siren went off again after the pre-raid siren wailed all day. After 30 minutes, the bombers appeared in the sky over the city, they dropped plenty of bombs but in the outskirts of the city.

After 8 days of rest, I returned to the doctor as he had requested. Naturally, I told him I feel ill and have a fever. He gave me a thermometer and sent me into the usual room alone, so I rubbed and rubbed the thermometer like I did last Wednesday until it showed a fever of 38 °C. I waited till the nurse called me then handed over the thermometer. The doctor looked at it, I gave him and the nurse a cigarette, and he gave me 5 more days of rest. I have to see him again on Monday, then figure out what to do. I don’t want to go back to the factory, I’m tired of these cowardly Germans, these ugly people! Such rotten men.