Today I went to the doctor. She’s a doctor who speaks Italian well, some friends suggested I see her because they say she’s very good. Unfortunately, I discovered this wasn’t so. They led me to believe she would sign repatriation papers for me but instead she only gave me four days of rest. Oh, these German doctors! After two days and nights of fever, she gives me four measly days of rest and potatoes. This is what Germany is like for foreigners- woe is us!

Today I feel better, my fever is gone. It snowed last night but it’s not as cold as it was in November. Yesterday, Vincenzo Liberti from Carinola received a letter from his wife Lucrezia Andolfi, who lives in Casale. I hope to receive a letter from my darling wife for Christmas.
Every day, two, three, four times a day, the siren goes off, it’s continuous. Even yesterday, while I was at the doctor’s I had to run to the shelter. I cannot find a way out! Yet I keep searching. This damned war is endless! And to think Christmas is near! Will it be Christmas for me or just a more agonizing day for me? Will it be equally as agonizing for my wife? I recall how Christmas was always a day of happiness for us, a day of happy hearts, happy with our family. But unfortunately, this is the second year, for me and for my darling wife and kids, where Christmas is not a day of joy but rather a day of immense pain! Even for my dear children it will not be a joyous day. Even though they don’t understand the meaning of my absence, they see and notice that their mother certainly will not be and cannot be cheerful like other mothers; they too suffer the consequences, they sense the absence of their beloved father. For them, as for myself and their darling mother, it will be another wasted Christmas! Another dark Christmas!

Today is the feast of the Immaculate Conception. For me, it’s a day like any other, we worked. I hope my family celebrated this holy day and that they have everything they need.

The siren goes off continuously, there is no peace. Last night, the third siren wasn’t like the ones earlier in the day. While we were in the shelter, we heard constant shooting, then a bomb fell about 10 meters away and the shelter shook violently. When the shooting stopped, we went outside: we could see outside as if it were day, the city is enveloped in flames. The windows in our room are all broken, it’s horribly cold.

As usual, we had to go to work at the factory. We leave home at 6:15 and it’s bitterly cold outside. We reach the factory and it too has been damaged, but only slightly. We can’t do much because there is no electricity, perhaps the power plant was bombed, but we are obliged to stay in the factory nonetheless and do something until it’s night and then we can leave to go eat those famous potatoes with no seasoning and that lukewarm water called soup. This is life in Germany.

Today we got out of work at 1:00 and are on vacation until Tuesday. They gave us lots of money, but what will I do with it? They gave us an extra week’s pay, a total of 44 Marks plus a 20 Mark bonus, plus the regular pay. In all, it was 110 Marks. Do they think all this money will make Christmas enjoyable? Christmas will be nothing but anguish for me.

I took a walk around the city. I went to visit Mr. Schumann to see if he was all right after Sunday night’s bombing. But he wasn’t there because the hotel was destroyed by bombs on Sunday December 17th. So he had no place to stay and went to Konstanz where his wife lives. He’d mentioned he would be going there for Christmas vacation, he said he would leave on Thursday but because of the bombs he left on Monday, after the raid. I wandered around Munich, it’s startling to see movie theaters, cafés, factories, and buildings of all sorts reduced to rubble, rendered useless. 100 meters from where I live, five or six buildings collapsed together, perhaps four or five bombs fell on that one spot. I heard that two shelters, located in the basement of these buildings, crumbled and the people were buried inside. Since I’ve been in Munich, I’ve seen many bombings but nothing like this before. Out of the four or five buildings that collapsed, there isn’t a single stone still standing. For an entire week they’ve been using cranes to excavate, working day and night trying to recuperate bodies.

This is the second Christmas I’ve spent apart from my family. Last night, the nuns who run the place I’m staying in made some sweets for us. At midnight, we went to Mass with said nuns in a private chapel where a priest celebrated the holy mass. At noon we had the same lunch as always: potatoes and soup. In the afternoon, I went to the lager where Agostino and Ciccillo were staying, they invited me to play the guitar. The French put on a performance, a lovely performance that involved the French, a Greek man, a Spaniard, and a Russian woman who danced and sang very well. There was a French man who played the piano very well, another played the violin, there was a jazz band, plus a man from Sparanise and I played the guitar. It was a wonderful show, there were over 400 people of different nationalities in the audience. They had a lot of fun. I wanted to have fun but wasn’t able to because I kept thinking about home, especially on memorable days like this! I recall the five Christmases I spent with my darling wife. What happy days they were! And now we’ve spent two Christmases apart, far away, and without any news of each other. For 15 months I’ve been away, I haven’t been able to see my dear children and their mother. I hope they are at least healthy, and that they have everything they need. I pray to God that this destruction will end soon and that I will survive all the dangers that loom over us. Not a day passes without the siren going off two or three times, even last night on Christmas Eve, and today on Christmas, at noon while we were eating we had to run to the shelter, it’s continuous.

This morning, Agostino, Vincenzo Liberti from Carinola, and I took a stroll around Munich. It’s horrifying. Rubble everywhere but they’re still bombing. We went back home around midday. Even though the weather’s been nice and sunny for three days, it’s still freezing out. We are a few steps from home when the siren goes off. They always come at the same time, midday. After a few hours it’s over, Agostino stays to eat with me then goes back to his lager.

We went back to work this morning, our suffering has begun again: we get up when it’s still dark out and we return home when it’s dark. It’s freezing cold out. We’re working at the machines again because electricity has been restored, what a pity! Christmas of 1944 has come and gone! Let’s hope Easter doesn’t come and go too!